Category Archives: Commentaries

Is there room in our lives for another?

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This is a question I’ve been meditating on in recent weeks, perhaps even longer. In his daily meditation continuing his reflections on Eucharist, Richard Rohr puts it this way:

Somehow we have to make sure that each day we are hungry, that there’s room inside of us for another presence [emphasis added]. If you are filled with your own opinions, ideas, righteousness, superiority, or sufficiency, you are a world unto yourself and there is no room for “another.”

As a gay man “of a certain age” who is also single and would prefer not to be, I wonder if the history of my own life sometimes gets in the way of having youth’s openness to possibility, to new experiences, and especially to new people whom God may bring my way?  I ask this of myself, but also wonder if it might be true for others who have also lived for some time, perhaps many years, establishing their own daily routines, interests, and ways of spending time? Are our lives so utterly fulfilling that there is no longer any room for “another”? How do my/your “independence” fit with our “interdependence” as neighbors, acquaintances, friends, dates or partners? As Fr. Rohr says, if there is no emptiness or hunger, then what is there to be satisfied? To be sure, only God can fulfill that ultimate emptiness and hunger so eloquently stated by Augustine — “My heart will not rest until it rests in Thee” — but are there not hungers at the level of human relationship and intimacy that we are called to fulfill for one another?

Just as there is possibility within every springtime bud, is there not great possibility within every human heart and soul?

The Gift of Birthdays

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Yesterday was my birthday.

There really was just a single candle in my panna cotta, even though it looks like the fire department might be on its way!

I usually observe that day each year by taking off from work and going for a long walk here in DC.  Invariably I stop in to the National Gallery of Art (NGA) to enjoy the beauty of its architecture, sculptures, and other artwork from across the centuries.

Sometimes I just relax in the rotunda of the Gallery’s west wing, sitting back and taking in all the activity of visitors from around the country and around the world enjoying this national treasure.

While I wasn’t able to get away from work for the entire day, nor was I able to make it to the NGA, I did leave early and enjoyed a wonderful dinner with some special friends. Throughout the day I continued to be periodically delighted as more and more Facebook friends and acquaintances offered best wishes and congratulations. It felt good to be remembered.

Birthdays are gifts; they are snippets of time out of Time that encourage us to pause for a moment on our life’s journey —

remembering what was,

pondering what might be, and

most especially being grateful for what is.

Dignity/NoVA Celebrates 20th Anniversary

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Dignity/NoVA recently celebrated its 20th Anniversary of serving the community of LGBT Catholics in the Northern Virginia area. On Saturday evening (May 12, 2012) an intrepid crew of about 30 members set sail for a three-hour tour on the Potomac, past the iconic monuments of DC and beyond the Georgetown harbor.

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“First stop slamming doors…”

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We don’t teach meditation to the young monks. They are not ready for it until they stop slamming doors.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh to Thomas Merton in 1966

“Charlotte Pastor Mark Harris and Cindy Marrelli of Raleigh celebrate the passage of the N.C. marriage amendment during an election night party at the North Raleigh Hilton.”

I began my morning by reading the daily meditation from Richard Rohr, which begins with the above. I then saw several pictures online and in print picturing so-called “pastors” jubilantly celebrating the passage of Amendment 1 in North Carolina, and it struck me that these are exactly the kind of people that Fr. Rohr is talking about when he comments:

First stop slamming doors, and then you can begin in the kindergarten of spirituality. Too many priests, bishops, and ministers are still slamming doors.

No one who supports the right of God’s LGBT children to live their lives honestly, openly, freely and without fear is surprised to hear that much (most?) of the bigotry that opposes such honesty and freedom is rooted in religion. Nonetheless, it never ceases to shock me in one way or another when the strong-arm of this bigotry exercises its might as it did yesterday in North Carolina.

The picture of a “pastor” raising his clenched-fist, smiling and expressing support for the fact that a majority of his fellow citizens have slammed the door on the faces of so many tens of thousands of their brothers and sisters — well, this just doesn’t seem very “pastoral,” now does it? This man — and too many other religious administrators (I won’t call them “leaders”) — would probably not yet be ready to begin to take the baby-steps that truly faithful people people take when they seek to know the path to God in humility and compassion.

Some may say this sounds judgmental, even a bit harsh. To that I plead guilty. But I think a little anger is justified when those whose actions seeking to deny the fundamental rights of others are temporarily successful. Thankfully, there’s that thing called the arc of history … and towards a better world characterized by Justice and Peace I hope and pray it will continue to bend!

Benedict XVI on Poverty, Wealth and the Responsibilities of States

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Pope Benedict XVI

Earlier today (May 4, 2012) in his address welcoming several new ambassadors to the Holy See, Pope Benedict stated:

“When poverty coexists with enormous wealth, a sense of injustice arises … Therefore it is necessary for States to ensure that legislation does not increase social inequality and that people can live dignified lives.”

I wonder how much this principle is kept in mind around the world as governments debate and pass legislation? How many Members of Congress, and their staffs, consider the growing disparity not only between the rich and the poor, but even between the majority in the middle and the extremes of either end?

How often do legislators ask this question when considering the many bills and motions and amendments that come before them in their work: “Will this legislation help people lead more dignified lives?”

“Connected, but alone?” — Sherry Turkle’s TED Talk

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If you’re not familiar with the TED Talks, you should be.  A “non profit devoted to ideas worth spreading,” TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) engages in a number of activities that fulfill its mission:  Spreading ideas.

This TED Talk by psychologist Sherry Turkle looks at technology and texting and the many devices to which we have tied our ourselves, and wonders if expecting more from technology means we expect less of one another?

It’s a question that probably resonates with all of us.  I have a friend who, while no luddite, is definitely not infatuated with technology. I used to get slightly annoyed when I would call his cell phone and I’d get voicemail.  “Why doesn’t he answer?” I’d quietly wonder, thinking “I know he’s not at work, doesn’t he have his phone in his pocket, close at hand?”  When I was in his physical, real time company, however, I realized that his phone was not on, not accessible, and that if someone were trying to reach him, they’d get voicemail too.  You see, my friend had made choices about the importance of presence. He knew intuitively that “divided attention” is really “no attention,” and that when he is with he, he is truly with me. He knows that to be with another person, to enjoy his company, to engage her in conversation, all this means saying “Yes” to the “you” I’m with right now, and “No” — or at least, “Not right now” — to all others.

But it wasn’t this idea of presence that first jumped out at me. It was Turkle’s statement that our infatuation with technology and all our devices are getting in the way of people’s capacity for self-reflection. Time by oneself is necessary for healthy development, yet increasingly we hear of studies measuring the increased anxiety that comes with being “unconnected” to the virtual world.

Turkle is a psychologist and she speaks from that discipline. But it’s no great leap to hear her words from a spiritual perspective. The Hebrew and Christian scriptures are filled with examples bespeaking both the importance of true presence to one another, and the need for occasional trips into the desert, alone.

What richer lives we might lead if we can appreciate just a little more the real value of the present moment, including those moments of solitude which invite us more deeply into ourselves.  After all, it’s only by knowing ourselves as deeply as we can that we are able to share our true selves with one another.

61% of Irish Catholics Disagree with Bishops on Homosexuality

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Irish people are often reported in the popular media to be “socially conservative,” the deep roots of Catholicism on that island nation often cited as the reason. Like most generalizations, such characterizations are not only overly simplistic, they’re often wrong. New findings from research conducted by Amárach Research for Ireland’s Association of Catholic Priests paints a very different, though not surprising, picture of the state of Irish Catholicism as seen from the perspective of the ones who really matter — Irish Catholics themselves.

Take homosexuality, for instance. When asked specifically, “To what extent do you agree with the Catholic Church’s teaching that any sexual expression of love between gay couples is immoral?” only 18% agreed. A full 61% disagreed!

Views of Irish Catholics on "official" Church teaching about homosexuality (Amarach Research conducted for the Association of Catholic Priests)

The report covers a wide range of issues affecting Irish Catholicism today and is worth a look. See the full report here (pdf).

Benedict, Nuns, Christians…and “freedom” to proclaim the Gospel

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In his daily meditation for today (April 24, 2012), Franciscan Fr. Richar Rohr writes:

I am not denying that Jesus could and undoubtedly did physical healing. It still happens, and I have seen it, but the healings and exorcisms in Mark’s Gospel are primarily to make statements about power, abuse, relationships, class, addiction, money, the state of women and the poor, and the connections between soul and body—the exact same issues that we face today. [emphasis added]

Just as Jesus’ actions made statements about those parts of the world in need of healing, so have the actions of many of his followers. In the United States, religious women — sisters and nuns (there is a difference, by the way!) — for more than two centuries have been at the heart and forefront of two of the most important activities of any society:  Education and Healthcare.  Communities of religious women have founded hospitals and clinics and hospices; they have opened schools and colleges and universities. And while they have ministered to people across the social spectrum, they typically would be willing to serve where others would dare not tread.

Even Pope Benedict XVI has praised the historic role of women in building the Church in America.  Just yesterday, the pope noted that two women from this continent will be canonized later this year — Blessed Kateri Tekakwitha and Blessed Mother Marianne Cope.

While recalling the historic role of women in the Church in the United States, the pope notably did not praise the current role played by so many tens of thousands of women religious in the daily lives of hospitals, schools, parishes and communities across this land.  Instead, he gave voice to that growing canard that the bishops of the US have latched on to, i.e. the notion that the “freedom” of religion is somehow under attack.  In concluding his speech to some visiting Americans, Benedict stated:

In these days I ask your continued prayers for the needs of the universal Church and in particular for the freedom of Christians to proclaim the Gospel and bring its light to the urgent moral issues of our time.

I don’t know where the Pope gets his information, though given the Vatican’s recent actions regarding congregations of women religious in the US (see coverage in US Catholic for one perspective), I suspect it’s not from very good sources. Concerning religious freedom, however, I’ve yet to see any roadblocks put forth hindering the proclamation of the Gospel or the light it sheds on the “moral issues of our time.”  What the Pope fails to understand is that his voice and the voices of his brother bishops are not the only voices empowered to proclaim the Gospel. The voices of religious women and men, of priests and lay people, all the Baptized together have a right and responsibility to proclaim the Gospel in both word and — like Jesus in Mark’s Gospel — in action. At times, those voices will differ as we collectively discern “the signs of the times” and struggle to understand where and how God’s Spirit might be leading us here and now.

Benedict rightly notes that “Christians” (he didn’t limit this to the hierarchy!) have the freedom to proclaim the Gospel.  I pray that he and his brother bishops will listen to the voices of Christians doing just that, even when what they have to say might not be what Benedict wants to hear!

“Addiction doesn’t work”

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Richard Rohr writes (On the Threshold of Transformation: Daily Meditations for Men, Day 110):

Addiction happens when we no longer want to feel our feelings. Addiction happens when we don’t want to know our own thoughts or feel our own pain. But you know what? Addiction doesn’t work. In the long run, addiction brings ten times more pain than you would experience by accepting the legitimate pain of being a human being. Religion needs to be teaching this up front and without apology.

And by “addiction,” Fr. Rohr refers not only to alcohol, street drugs, or the abuse of other substances that those in treatment facilities and halfway houses are addicted to. He’s also talking about the unfettered consumerism and materialism of our culture. To this list, I would add the addiction to self-righteousness which, in the extreme, is expressed as hate. It’s the view heard so frequently on talk radio, seen often in the comments of “anonymous,”and even heard preached from pulpits. It’s the view that says, “I’m right, you’re wrong; I possess truth, and you are filled with lies.”

There are treatment options and 12-step programs for those struggling with alcoholism or drug addiction. But where’s the 12-step program for consumerism and the addiction to hate? Where’s the treatment plan for the addiction that never has enough “stuff” or that so quickly judges others who are “different” by equating “different” with evil?

The Divine and Religion

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I’ve become mesmerized by the words, wisdom, and captivating brogue of the late John O’Donohue.  He died too young, but has left a lifetime’s worth of insight into life, humanity, beauty, the Divine, and the spiritual dimension we call soul so often ignored in our dizzyingly fast world.

Here’s a snippet from Wisdom from the Celtic World:

Everyone hungers and longs for the home that we call the Divine. And what’s really sad is that very often peoples’ ability to come into the Divine presence is most damaged by religion.

Religion has filled so many holy and lovely people with such a sense of fear and sense of guilt. And this fear and guild have often been used by religion to control people.

And you should never let any religious power or institution take away from you that intimacy and depth of belonging that you have to the Divine, because the Divine is your secret name.